Spiritual awakening is proportional to the extent and intensity of suffering.
It comes and goes, and then comes back, much like when we wake up from sleep in the morning..
Loss of any type is difficult to handle. But the suffering & fear caused by losses and tragedies - this suffering slowly reduces with time WITHOUT ANY RATIONAL REASON.
Acceptance of things as they are sets in slowly, but surely. AUTOMATICALLY.
The past, the morbid nature of human life, the morbid nature of the present moment - with acceptance of these, comes freedom from fear of the future.
Whatever form the future will take, it's all fine - this feeling grows slowly.
Philippians 4:7: And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds....
The Buddhas mentioned in various texts have reportedly laughed when they have awakened. Not a cynical, bitter laugh but a laugh of amusement combined with a feeling of perfect safety, empowerment and well being.
You are alive in this moment.
A beautiful song, by the beautiful Fairuz (Fairouz), lebanese singer Nouhad Wadi Haddad.